Frustrated Performer...

When you start ballet as a child, your only ambition is to be a ballerina. and naturally...now you attend ballet classes once a week at your local school you will become a world class ballerina and perform at the Royal Opera House. It's all so linear and obvious. 

Then gradually as you get older, perhaps teens, you start to realize that perhaps things aren't as linear as originally perceived. So maybe you better head off to Dance school in London and this will put things straight. Convincing the parents in an obstacle - Dance school isn't cheap, London isn't close and I was one of 6 siblings. Hmmm. No mind....I'll go to University and do dance! THEN I'll become a performer of course!

Well once the degree has been awarded, you've smiled for your graduation photos and the world is you oyster. Except you've hit this world with a big, realistic bang. You need to get a job. To pay bills. There's council tax, untilities, insurance etc. No matter...get an office job for a while then worry about performing. Except this office job turns from a short-term thing into a, well.......4 year thing. And now you're used to regular income and enjoying money, and London's pretty far away and other than some ballet classes you prehaps haven't kept your hand in the dance world as much as you should have - and suddenly all those dreams you had as a child are totally out of reach. 

What to do? Well...I could teach to get myself back into the Dance world. Excellent plan. Get accepted onto the Royal Academy of Dance's Certificate in Ballet Teaching studies and teach with my old ballet teacher. 2 years later, I receive that wonderful email to tell me I've passed and qualified as a ballet teacher. I've also been in touch with some old dancing friends, and we're starting up our own Dance company, we're going to perform locally a mixture of contemporary and jazz.

So now at the rather grand age for starting theses things, of 26...I'm taking the plunge. I've got a date in mind. The desk job is going by the by. The Dance is coming together. Ballet teaching and performing with Launch dance Company to start. Keeping eyes and ears on social networking and the theatre scene open for other opportunities.  Because in all honesty, London is where it's at - and where I'm not. Touring is a daunting prospect, I love my house, my boyfriend and my settled life. 

So while my 5-year-old dreams of playing the Sugar Plum Fairy on the stage at Covent Garden are a distant fantasy of my young naive self, at least I've not given up. I'm making dance my life - I can't give it up. It's all I think and do. 

Still, it doesn't stop me being hugely envious of any professional dancer I see at the theatre or on TV. But I'll accept my lot.

For now....